This blog is not about death, nor about the awful tragic events of war, or other severe tragedies that sometimes occur to humans. This is about letting go of childhood, letting go of the pain of a friend that hurt us and said something cruel. The pains we tend to keep reliving and letting interfere with our “now life”. There are so many ways to live in the past. And it makes sense right? I mean if we forget someone hurt us, and move on fresh, than they can hurt us again. Remembering pain makes sense. As they say: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. How can we remember our savvy, the past pains and the lessons we learned from it, while letting go of the painful grip it has on us?
It is important to define the difference between remembering and feeling past pain. We can remember the painful events without the emotionally charged reaction every time we think of it. To remember it mentally without reliving the pain
Although there are many techniques for this, there are 3 that I have found the most helpful. The first is through meditations of letting go. There are many to be found on podcasts and online. Guided meditations like this can be found in abundance and can help us remember but also feel peace as we do.
Secondly, it can be very helpful to pray for those that hurt you, or if you don’t believe in prayer you can send them good vibes, or visualize and speak positive affirmations over them. The idea of praying or wishing someone well, for them to find peace, happiness, and joy, can be really hard to do! This technique predates before Biblical days and is not so popular in our modern culture were entitlement goes hand in hand with what we deserve, and how we ought to be treated. Praying for those that hurt you can be hard, but it also is a huge step towards forgiveness, even if you don’t mean those prayers at first.
Lastly, it can be very helpful to discard items that remind you of the pain. Old journals that you wrote reiterating the pain, the clothes you wore during that time, etc. It is important that if it is something you can’t escape, such as a song that comes on the radio, you can give it a new meaning by purposely surrounding yourself with this item or song, while doing insanely happy things with others. This will create new associations in your brain, to this stimuli. But when possible, I do suggest throwing items out, even burning them, as the ridding of the item can be an emotional cleansing and an act of letting go.
Living in the past can ruin the now. Let’s let the pain go, and just keep the lessons we learned.